Some people say that conservatives can’t enjoy culture. These people think we’re all a bunch of troglodytic philistines who can’t tolerate the slightest deviance from outdated norms without harboring violent thoughts about whoever dares to exercise some creativity. Frankly, I hope the people who say these things die. Choking on their stinking culture until their eyes burst and come bubbling down their cheeks like acid that burns their faces off right in the middle of the Oscar speech in which they complain about Donald Trump’s morality just before telling their third wife they want a divorce while driving to see their mistress when they’re supposed to be picking their kid up from rehab. Even the thought of their painful deaths makes me laugh. Well, not laugh, but I make a sort of repeated guttural noise that more or less communicates amusement. Only sissies laugh.
But today,…
