President and Venal Houseplant Joe Biden says he will not call off his campaign for re-election just because his debate performance proved he should call off his campaign for re-election.
In a statement made to a mop which he mistook for a twelve-year-old girl with really nice-smelling hair, Biden said “Just because I had one bad debate, doesn’t mean I can’t shenagin boygin sobus faben duben. Sure, I’m not moving as well as I used to, and my voice sounds rough sometimes, and when it comes to going to the bathroom, it can be virtually impossible and then suddenly take me completely by surprise, and sometimes I wake up in the middle of the afternoon and find myself surrounded by people talking to me about Ukraine when I’ve already explained that the Ukraine money is safely hidden in one of my shell companies, but the point is, sure, I’ve lost some of my faculties, maybe all…
