Well, America — or whoever the hell I’m talking to — the day of decision is rapidly drawing near, so it’s time we set partisanship aside and took a clear-eyed, objective look at our choices. Are we going to give our vote to an orange-colored demagogue whose reckless rhetoric reveals a tyrannical disregard for American freedoms? Or will we go with Donald Trump? (And okay, that question might have confused you because of the reference to being orange. But — I mean, look at her!)
The important thing is: as the purely surly hurly-burly whirly-swirly of election day draws near, it’s much too easy to sink into closed-minded bias like an explorer sinking into quicksand until there’s nothing left on the surface but a pith helmet and a half-finished hand-drawn map of some obscure Nile tributary rumored to have its source in a fountain of eternal youth where shapely native girls…
