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Trump Signs Radical Executive Order Declaring There Are Only Two Genders

President Donald Trump, who’s the president now while also being Donald Trump so that Donald Trump is president again and is therefore President Donald Trump… sorry, I just enjoy saying that.

Where was I?

Oh yeah. President Donald Trump has signed an executive order declaring that human beings come in only two genders, male and female, and that other genders and their silly pronouns not to mention their bizarre hairstyles and nose rings will henceforth be permanently consigned to the twilight zone of the imagination along with Unicorns, Ents, successful socialist economies, those cute furry creatures from one of the old Star Wars movies though I forget which one, and Heffalumps, who are not only imaginary themselves but the imaginary creations of Winnie the Pooh, who is also imaginary, though admittedly adorable especially that time he ate too much honey and got stuck in Rabbit’s…

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